Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Now that it is five years ...

If wishes were flying horses, I would have been on the moon by now. But in reality, wishes are what they are - wishes! When one is given a license to write about them, the license is used in totality. And of course, anything and everything when used without control stands a chance of getting into the realm of dreams, out of the purview of reality. Yes, probably I have learnt some thing from the infallible realists around me.

Well, now that we have spent five years together, the reality of many of the experiences of the first meeting I shared earlier have seen the light of the day. Still, those special moments remain special. One can not dilute the feeling (or shall I say "should not") by any means, be it due to the efforts put by the infallible realists, the questioning pragmatists or the inexperienced intruding nincompoops. Reality check or not, the wish I began with, of living those moments with her once again, stands firm.

And the reality check begins ...

That doubled heart-beat while waiting for her was then in anticipation of a lot of things relevant for that occasion; the doubled heart-beat today is in anticipation of a lot of things relevant after five years. What will be the next topic for fighting? When will the next shopping list come out? When will the next uncomfortable question be popped? When will we go to the much awaited vacation? Get the hang?

That bewildered cum astonished expression on her face had nothing to do with punctuality. It was probably much beyond just bewilderment. I was successful in giving her a reason which she uses to pull my leg even today ... the way I was standing on the footpath, leaning against the wall, with one leg pulled upwards resting at a right angle to the wall, looking at people (read "girls") coming and going, checking the time every now and then, would have reminded her of some other "professional".

That feeling of discomfort when she looked at me from top to bottom was not going to be the first time. I can bet it can happen so easily even today. The "top-to-bottom" movement of her eyes was the next step to the astonishment experienced earlier. She was probably finding it too difficult to fathom how one particular color of clothing was going well with the other. She was trying to figure out the relevance of the phrase on the t-shirt. Most importantly, she was trying to find how was that an appropriate attire for the occasion?

That gentle movement of her knee-length hair is now a thing of past. They have been cut short to half the length, and of course the absence of hair on my own head has increased doubly fast. No prizes for guessing the right reason ...

That soft and gentle "sorry" was definitely not for the accidental touching of hands. It was her way to set the expectations right ... set her expectations from me right! By the way, was that the last soft and gentle "sorry" I heard for a long time to come?

That desire of getting lost in the expressive eyes surfaces only if they try to express what they did that day, or what I felt they did that day. And hence, the desire continues to be in the dream world. Come on, love at first sight can not happen twice.

That looking at each other for more than 3 seconds continuously was then for the first time for me. I had not done that even once before that day, and I better dare not do that even once after that day. I am still repenting for doing it the first time ...

That "no" for eating anything was not because I did anything wrong. It was simply a lack of matching interest in the f-word - "food". That should have been a lesson well learnt that it is not something that equally excites everyone in the world. So, there is no need to attach the "no" with anything else. But, not all four-letter words (for example "food") are bad, aren't they?

That slight giggle while I was placing the order was not because I stammered. It was because I mispronounced a word and used another word in the sentence inappropriately. Oh God! Was that my first lesson in understanding the importance of "communication"? Wonder how do people having no knowledge of each other's language manage? To this, somebody pointed out that famous saying about there being a will and a way. Apt!

That sudden blush was not because she found my ears funny ... it was because of an unexpected intrusion in our meeting. And by the way, if not ears, she does find the body parts between my ears funny. Most definitely the internal one that lies on the line of least distance drawn between the two, and as per her own admission, the external one, that lies on the line connecting the two towards the front of the face.


  1. You and your girl both are lucky .A person like you is in her life who remembers small movement, who is committed, who is accepting changes. I want to ask you one question, how should one keep “live the moments when I met her for the first time. “For whole life. Your style of writing is very good keep it up. All the best.

  2. As I always say - it is important for both the boy and the girl to feel lucky. For your question, I am still looking for an answer :)

  3. Your girl is so lucky. If this is not love, what is? It is not that easy for anyone to express feelings like this publicly. Hats off buddy :)

    And taking liberty in trying to answer the question by the other "Anonymous", well, it is important for your girl to reciprocate your feelings that you have beautifully articulated. You have done your bit ... it is for her to do her bit. How about a guest blog by her?