Gems from Junior - Tablet, et al

Junior ... one thing that keeps on changing almost everyday. At the same time, one thing that keeps on constantly giving us reasons to smile every now and then. His one liners are more precious than the hidden treasure at the end of the rainbow. The innocent smile ... even more innocent language usage ... and the most innocent interpretations. One bomb from him in the morning is enough to make your day ... another bomb in the evening will make you forget the much needed salary hike you are not going to get because of the economy.

A few days back, on observing his Mommy sitting on the sofa, with red watery eyes, Junior approached her with a worried expression on his face.

Junior: "Mommy, what happened to you? Why are you crying? Are you missing Daddy?"

Mommy: "I am not crying Junior. I am not feeling well. I am having a headache."

Junior: (With his hands already moving through Mommy's hair) "You want me to give you a good massage on your head?" And then came up with all the options he had in his small but sharp memory to take care of the head ache. Finally, Mommy had to give him an option ...

Mommy: "Thanks Junior! Can you please get me the tablet that I have kept on the table? It is blue in color."

Junior: (Getting lost in the books kept on the table) "Just a minute Mommy! I can not find it. There are so many books on the table. I remember keeping the tablet here yesterday evening."

And then he comes with something much bigger than what Mommy expected in his hands, and said ...

Junior: "Mommy, here you go.", handing over the tablet to her. "But you said it is blue in color. You forgot that our tablet is black in color. Ha ha ha!" And with that innocent triumphant smile, he switched the tablet on, and said - "Tell me which game would you like to play?" Mommy dear would have instantly forgotten about her head ache!

An eventful journey ...

(This post has been selected by blogadda for its Tangy Tuesday Picks on September 17, 2013)

Recently, I traveled to and fro between the financial capital and the IT capital of the country. Since I belong to that rare species of people who still do not own one of those phones, the next best thing I could do on both legs of the journey was to keep myself busy doing something I love to do ... observe people around. And boy, it was fun doing that after a long time!

It was nice to see that while ensuring they respond to the all important sound of a water droplet or the 'melodious' whistle (if you don't know what these sounds are, welcome to my side of the mobile phone divide ... these are the most common message tones on those phones I have heard), people were still engaged in one of those actions fast becoming extinct - conversing with each other face-to-face. Needless to say, every conversation was enriching enough to make my trip successful. Then there were some, who didn't converse at all. But more on that later.

Taking a step back ... almost every other person I come across now a days feels he / she is smart just because the 'big as a calculator' phone is their constant companion, when the reality is that their credit card company offered them the EMI option to purchase one, making them shell out that amount of money in this downturn. Is that being smart? Perhaps yes, because the lady in my house owns one. Or is it just a herd mentality? But the herd would then be too big to be called just a herd. Better still, is it a successful marketing strategy? May be yes. Ask the company who used to enjoy Connecting People. Any ways, let's have a look at a few episodes.


Gentleman in a hurry:

I was standing at the security-check when I suddenly heard a noise coming from the next queue. A gentleman was in a hurry to catch his flight, and was running late. Looking at his swollen eyes and unkempt hair, I assumed it was party time for him the previous night. Without bothering to seek permission from the 20 odd people who bothered to arrive on time, or even ahead of time, he jumped the queue and approached the security person. When a couple of people confronted him and raised their voice, he simply refused to show even an iota of politeness and continued giving them stares, with certain four-letter words thrown in to improve everybody's appetite (or indigestion, whichever way you look at it). Unfortunately, the security person allowed him to go ahead, in spite of the ugly scene he had created.

While he was putting back his jacket, I saw a sentence written on his t-shirt: "Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy."


Family on vacation:

While waiting at the terminal for boarding, a family of five came and occupied the seats next to me. To me, they were on their way to a vacation, what with the youngest of the lot making a public announcement of the same every now and then. The oldest of the lot, the gentleman, must be in his early fifties, totally engrossed in an overseas phone call with a business partner, discussing the technicalities of a proposal. He would have repeated it at least thrice in the conversation that the business partner should feel free to call him any time of the day. Presumably, the partner on the other side was vehemently opposing that, wanting our friend to enjoy the vacation.

Then there was the lady of the family who was busy answering to the water droplets, with a gentle smile of satisfaction on her face every time the message was sent before the other person got a chance to create another droplet. Nice little competition going on ... all set for the vacation. She was accompanied on the next seat by her son, busy playing a war game on his hand-held device. Every time he killed the enemy or destroyed one of the tanks, he shouted loudly, tore apart the newspapers kept next to him, and threw it all around. His sister, who was little less restless than him, was lost in her own little world, with headphones in her ears, with another small device lost somewhere in the big jacket she was wearing.

The little one kept on tugging his vacation partners one by one, trying to attract their attention. Finally getting exasperated, he took out a small car from his own cabin bag, and started playing with it. I believe still some more time for him to get hooked on to his own device ...


Snack time:

It was time for some snacks (yes the same packets of potato chips and cookies for which they charge almost thrice the MRP).

Gentleman - "But I had just ordered a cup of coffee. You can not just say that you need to first serve meal to the old a**."

Air Hostess - "I am sorry sir. May I please request you to refrain from using abusive language. The gentleman is on medication and my staff wanted to help him on priority."

Gentleman - "Look, don't tell me what is right and what is wrong. I am in a hurry and don't need your lecture. I need to get back to my presentation. And I can not work on that without my cup of coffee."

Air Hostess - "Please accept my apologies sir. I will have my colleague to get you your coffee. Please give me 2 minutes."

Gentleman - "I don't care about your apologies, and don't care whether somebody is on medication or not. If the old man is really in need of urgent medication, he should travel with someone to take care of his needs. What I know is that I am a frequent flier of your airline, and I expect my needs to get higher priority. Either get me my coffee right away, or start worrying about your job."

And so on it went for another 10 minutes. Wonder what happened to his presentation. Was it his sense of entitlement that made him behave the way he did?

Fortunately, the gentleman awaiting some help in his medication got it on time.

When it was time to disembark the aircraft, I saw the gentleman wearing a beautiful, seemingly costly, waist belt. On it, was written in bold - Being Human!


Sleep time ... I mean, snack time ... oh, I am confused:

Some more fun at snack time. Just when the lady on 28D wanted to bring the tray down and open her box of Punjabi Samosa and a can of diet coke, our friend on seat 27D decided to take a nap, and bring her seat back.

Gentleman - "Friend, can you please be a bit a careful while bringing the seat back? I almost had the entire coke on my lap."

Specimen (removing her head phones, and turning back) - "Excuse me! I couldn't hear you."

Gentleman - "My dear friend, I requested you to be a bit careful while bringing your seat back."

Specimen - "It is none of my business sir. If you are having your food, it is your head ache how you keep your stuff safe. Why should I be careful?"

Gentleman - "Well, we could do with a bit of courtesy here."

Specimen (a bit louder) - "Are you traveling by air for the first time? Looks like that's the case. I suggest if you want to have ample amount of space for yourself while traveling, you better opt for a train. Air travel is not meant for people like you. It is my seat, and I will take it back as and when I want."

There we go again! With some amount of persuasion by the specimen's family members (must be an embarrassing experience for them), and a greater amount of restraint shown by the gentleman who knew from his experience that withdrawing from the matter was a better option, the fun stopped.


First time traveler:

I was sitting on seat no. 31C. On seat 30A, 30B and 30C was a family - husband, wife and a kid. From what I heard, or shall I say over-heard, it seemed to me that the kid was flying for the first time. As was bound to happen, she started asking many questions about almost anything and everything around. When she asked her father about the round button on the handle, he gave her a demo of what it could do. As soon as the seat went backwards, she said - "Daddy, why do they have so little space between the seats? If you take your seat back, it will hurt the old Granny sitting behind you." Someone indeed needs to take lessons on being human or courtesy from this kid!

After a while, the air hostess started giving safety instructions and was making various hand movements to show the exit doors. The first-timer promptly shouted at her - "My teacher will punish you." On being asked the reason, she innocently said - "You are not doing your exercise properly. After bringing both your hands forwards, you should take both of them above your ahead. But you are doing it all wrong."

Somebody has rightly said - "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."

Of humility and humiliation

Just read about someone who has decided to move on in life. So, what's new in that? So many people decide to do that every day. What was interesting were the reasons that person chose and the kind of adjectives that were used. Again, nothing new in that. But that piece of megalomaniacal gibberish coming from the loudmouth made me think, and think, and think.

For such people, it has become so easy to just move on in life, in the process distancing oneself from the ownership of the results of one's actions. A genuine concern shown by a genuine well-wisher feels unreal. In fact, the concern feels real till the time it doesn't pose some uncomfortable questions. Beyond that, it is all downhill. This is not because the concern is fake; it is because the nincompoop doesn't deserve to be shown such a concern. His inflated ego stops him from distinguishing between real and fake. Such a person can not think beyond self and takes on the mistaken identity of being unassuming and modest. This, when he has not achieved anything remarkable in his own life. Whatever he has, is either much more than what is deserved or much before when it is due. And of course, in a few cases, achieved through not-so-appropriate means. The humble background is conveniently forgotten and the person shamelessly basks in the self-proclaimed glory brought by materialistic possessions, bereft of the realization that this self-aggrandizement is nothing but a mask put on his pusillanimity.

Incorrigible narcissists like these are so infatuated with themselves and their own well-being that they just forget looking at an issue from the other person's point of view. They are so self-centered that irrespective of what the people around them feel, they just move on in life, without understanding that the sense of happiness and contentment they display is so fake. It is unsustainable and weak because its foundation is built on a debris of the trampled feelings of others. The indifference shown for the well being of others is termed as modern way of thinking and is repeatedly justified by calling it "independence of thoughts". They have this false sense of superiority which they carry around with an equally unrealistic attitude. It becomes all the more laughable when this is based on half-baked, half-cooked experiences. No wonder it is said that incomplete knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge. The kind of analogies they bring in their conversations are devoid of logic and reasoning, and are merely avoidable intrusions that reflect nothing but stupidity and inexperience.

Rather than being thankful to Him by being responsive and responsible to the people around, the only feeling such incorrigible narcissists and intruding nincompoops have about the folks around is pity, when the same feeling is better suitable to be had for them, not by them. Humility shown in front of such people will always result in only one thing - humiliation.

Now that it is five years ...

If wishes were flying horses, I would have been on the moon by now. But in reality, wishes are what they are - wishes! When one is given a license to write about them, the license is used in totality. And of course, anything and everything when used without control stands a chance of getting into the realm of dreams, out of the purview of reality. Yes, probably I have learnt some thing from the infallible realists around me.

Well, now that we have spent five years together, the reality of many of the experiences of the first meeting I shared earlier have seen the light of the day. Still, those special moments remain special. One can not dilute the feeling (or shall I say "should not") by any means, be it due to the efforts put by the infallible realists, the questioning pragmatists or the inexperienced intruding nincompoops. Reality check or not, the wish I began with, of living those moments with her once again, stands firm.

And the reality check begins ...

That doubled heart-beat while waiting for her was then in anticipation of a lot of things relevant for that occasion; the doubled heart-beat today is in anticipation of a lot of things relevant after five years. What will be the next topic for fighting? When will the next shopping list come out? When will the next uncomfortable question be popped? When will we go to the much awaited vacation? Get the hang?

That bewildered cum astonished expression on her face had nothing to do with punctuality. It was probably much beyond just bewilderment. I was successful in giving her a reason which she uses to pull my leg even today ... the way I was standing on the footpath, leaning against the wall, with one leg pulled upwards resting at a right angle to the wall, looking at people (read "girls") coming and going, checking the time every now and then, would have reminded her of some other "professional".

That feeling of discomfort when she looked at me from top to bottom was not going to be the first time. I can bet it can happen so easily even today. The "top-to-bottom" movement of her eyes was the next step to the astonishment experienced earlier. She was probably finding it too difficult to fathom how one particular color of clothing was going well with the other. She was trying to figure out the relevance of the phrase on the t-shirt. Most importantly, she was trying to find how was that an appropriate attire for the occasion?

That gentle movement of her knee-length hair is now a thing of past. They have been cut short to half the length, and of course the absence of hair on my own head has increased doubly fast. No prizes for guessing the right reason ...

That soft and gentle "sorry" was definitely not for the accidental touching of hands. It was her way to set the expectations right ... set her expectations from me right! By the way, was that the last soft and gentle "sorry" I heard for a long time to come?

That desire of getting lost in the expressive eyes surfaces only if they try to express what they did that day, or what I felt they did that day. And hence, the desire continues to be in the dream world. Come on, love at first sight can not happen twice.

That looking at each other for more than 3 seconds continuously was then for the first time for me. I had not done that even once before that day, and I better dare not do that even once after that day. I am still repenting for doing it the first time ...

That "no" for eating anything was not because I did anything wrong. It was simply a lack of matching interest in the f-word - "food". That should have been a lesson well learnt that it is not something that equally excites everyone in the world. So, there is no need to attach the "no" with anything else. But, not all four-letter words (for example "food") are bad, aren't they?

That slight giggle while I was placing the order was not because I stammered. It was because I mispronounced a word and used another word in the sentence inappropriately. Oh God! Was that my first lesson in understanding the importance of "communication"? Wonder how do people having no knowledge of each other's language manage? To this, somebody pointed out that famous saying about there being a will and a way. Apt!

That sudden blush was not because she found my ears funny ... it was because of an unexpected intrusion in our meeting. And by the way, if not ears, she does find the body parts between my ears funny. Most definitely the internal one that lies on the line of least distance drawn between the two, and as per her own admission, the external one, that lies on the line connecting the two towards the front of the face.

When will we learn our lessons?

Courtesy of jscreationzs
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Comparing our life-styles and thought processes with that of the western world is more of a daily affair for many of us. However, three specific incidents in the last few days have made me think about this much more than I used to do earlier. Not exactly "out-of-the-world" incidents, but definitely ones that prick you in a wrong direction. These were occasions when I observed people around me trying to do exactly the same things what the western world would have been fond of doing a few decades back. Same aspects of life where they would have experienced pain, learnt their lessons, incorporated changes, and moved along. Like many cyclical things in life, they have crossed the "peak" of the curve and are seeing the downtrend, like the red one on the right, and we, as starters on the trajectory have just started climbing the curve upwards, like the green one. We are living in interesting times when the two curves are meeting, and probably conflicting with each other, very frequently.

On the first occasion, I was interacting with a colleague of mine who was perfoming the role of a client representative on the one hand, and coordinating with my team on the deliverables on the other hand. More importantly, he was at least a few time zones behind us. When we were deciding the time for our daily catch up calls, my Indian colleague said - "Peter, I am fine with the daily update call any time till 10:30 PM IST." To this, Peter replied - "That's not done! Please suggest a more suitable time. I do NOT want you to compromise with your family time. This project is not more important than our families." And no, the project was not an insignifcant one ... we were discussing a deal with huge potential earnings. So here we are ... trying to be more "professional" and "flexible", trying to show others that we are so "committed" to the client, probably trying to go one step beyond what many of us have seen the same people on the other side of the wall do for so many years. Now that they have realized, or let me say some of them have realized, the importance of work-life balance and the need to know where to draw the line, we are trying to catch up with their older avatars.

Another occasion, another country, same experience. We were having a teleconference meeting with a colleague managing a global leadership role. There were participants from at least four other countries, from four different time zones. Right in the middle of the meeting, this colleague announced that she was walking out of the meeting for 15 minutes. The reason - she had to pick up her kid from the school bus. I am sure we will think twice before doing this. In our part of the world, this probably would be called unprofesional and not being serious about the job. Folks around will say, or so we believe, that we do not go the extra mile and that we are not ambitious. How many organizations around us accept "taking the kid out for a dental checkup" as a valid reason to skip a meeting? Of course, before we label this colleague with one of these adjectives, I would like to point out that she ensured her absence does not take the meeting off the agenda.

One last incident ... this happened last week, or shall I say weekend. In spite of trying to ensure that all the deliverables are in place well before time, all of us would vouch for the fact that on some occasions, especially in short duration projects, we need to stretch, probably getting into the weekend. When this became inevitable last Friday, the senior manager from yet another country, had to build one big story around why this has become necessary, and that it was in nobody's hands. He actually apologized while requesting all the team members to work on the weekend. He even thanked the entire team (and the families) for the weekend efforts in the concluding mail after the project got over. I can not imagine this thought process being replicated here ... it will be "expected" from you to work on weekend. It is an unwritten rule and an integral part of being professional, right?

Courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If we learn these "best practices" from them, why not learn the "true" best practices after they have been refined by their experience over the years? Are we waiting for the "peak" of the curve to arrive before going downwards, or can we try our bit to reach a lower peak and avoid the fall steep? Is joining the rat race the only option available to us? Why is adding the number of zeroes one of the most important objectives of our lives ... why not adding an equal number of smiles a part of that list? Is being professional a more important goal to achieve than being human?